Precious

I was watching a movie called "Precious" and it made me think about love... The movie takes the main character, named Precious, from a place of pain, despair and hardship to determination, relationships and love... From a life lived with no notion of love, she discovers that healthy relationships can make a difference in someone's life.

The things we do for love... the things we do to be a part of something bigger than ourselves... the things we do to belong. They don't always make sense, they don't always feel right, they are the choices we make.

Love means to put myself out there, love means to make mistakes, love means to admit that I don't have it altogether. Love means to remember that I am precious. Are you?

EED

Just a few notes...

Just a couple of notes and questions from the second book of Samuel...

2 Samuel 3:39- King David? Scared? Weak? "Where does my help come from?"

2 Samuel 5: 10- What is power? How do you get power? Can you ever get be truly powerful without having the Lord on your side?

2 Samuel 6: 22- Humility and worship from the King of Israel to the Higher power... Kind of answers my previous questions in reference to verse 2 Samuel 5:10

2 Samuel 7: 18- Who am I to receive such blessings from the Lord?
David then turns around, shares "God's kindness" with Jonathan's son, and gets asked the same question in 2 Samuel 9: 8. Yes, David made a pact with Jonathan, but I really think this is what happens to people after they personally experience God's touch: they turn around and extend the same touch, kindness, love to others...

EED

Begging for a new king

Interesting that my reading of the Old Testament led me to the book of Samuel as these uncertain times (at least uncertain for us, not for our Heavenly Father) unfold...

After years of fully relying on God (with some major and memorable bad decisions), the Israelites decided, or actually demanded to have a human king reign over them. Before the Israelites demanded their king, there were a few mentions in the book of Judges that God was the supreme authority, and the Israelites did NOT need a king to rule over them.

"In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit" Judges 21:25

Yet, they insisted, pleaded, cried and begged Samuel to ask God for a king!

[Before I move any further, I need to mention that Samuel is one of my heroes... Conceived as a response to Hannah's constant and faithful prayer, he was destined to be a servant to the Lord. I try to remember the following verse when I struggle with hearing the voice of the Lord:
"Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD : The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him." 1 Samuel 3:7
Note to self: need to dedicate an entire post to Samuel...]

Now, back to the Israelites begging for a king... They were given fair warning... "Are you sure this is what you want?". This sounds a lot like me, trying to "make it happen"... So many times, I tried to run ahead of Him, thinking I could make it all by myself. It's easier to give myself credit for good things, than to thank God for everything He does for me EVERY single day. Hopefully, I am getting better at listening to warnings, especially when they are as specific as this one:

- "[When that day comes,] you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day" 1 Samuel 8:18

Of course he answered the Israelites, of course He listened to their cries, of course He cares for me... Always cleaning up after me.

Thank you, Father.

EED

Life is changing so fast...

I am little nostalgic tonight. Life is changing so fast...

One of my closest friend from high school is getting married in December. She is so happy, and ready to start this new adventure. The funny thing about this, she did not want to get married. Growing up, it was me, Sagal and Eva.... the 3 musketeers! Sagal was the least likely to get married. HAHA. She is getting married in Mali, West Africa, and I will miss her special day.

Another close friend from college just had her first baby a few days ago (read her beautiful and touching birth story on this link). And you guessed it... she did not want to have children. HAHA! She gave birth to a healthy 7lbs,1.3 ounces, 19.4 inches babygirl.

In both cases, they sound so happy about the unexpected turns in their lives. It gives me hope that God's timing is always perfect, that He listens to our plans and gently smiles, knowing that His are for superior.

Congratulations to both of you!

PS: Hijabee if you read this, let me know when would be a good time to come up for an overdue visit.

EED

Rest

I knew I was in trouble at church earlier today, when during service, pastor Doug talked about the need to set up time aside to spend with God and my first thought was:

-"I really need to be more disciplined about my ONE hour quiet time with God"

To which (as if he was reading my mind), pastor Doug quickly added that we needed an entire day of rest to spend time with God. A day of sabbath, a day of rest. OUCH! I was way off!

I am not sure what I am so busy doing. I don't think I am chasing money really, I am not chasing guys, I am not chasing the next gadget, I am not chasing empty dreams... I am just really busy.


As I laid on my bed, restless once again, I started wondering: "WHAT am I chasing?". I am chasing my past, chasing my future, chasing my destiny, chasing healthy relationships, chasing God, chasing... I don't know.

I don't ever want to be too busy to spend some quiet time with God. I don't ever want to give an hour to God. I want to give my entire life to Him. I want to be a living sacrifice. I want to live a prayerful life, not pray occasionally. I want to be His.

I am still a work in progress... thank goodness for that.

EED

All fall down

"All fall down" by One Republic.

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Growing part 3: Planting

I have been reading some of the entries in my old journals and something I heard during a seminar last year stood out to me:

"Once you start your faith journey, you just don't know where you will end up..."

At the time, I must admit that I found this a little discouraging... Once I got past the optimism in this encouraging word, I kept thinking: "All this planting, and I can't even get a sneak peek of what the crop might look like." I was missing the point of this comment: which was the act of planting. To rephrase the sentence:

"Once you decide to start planting seeds in your life, you have NO idea of how God is going to bless the crop in your life".

It's certainly been true for me... I starting planting seeds of service in my life almost as soon as I rededicated my life back to Christ. I needed to start somewhere, so I started right where I was... I felt very strongly that I needed to adopt a "Just show up attitude" and let God use me the way He wanted. I kept showing up, to the point where one of my friends called me a "volunteer hog"- haha. Through planting, and serving, I learned much more about myself then I thought possible. I have met wonderful people, and seen God use each of these experiences to bless others and myself.

I was sharing with some teens I volunteer with why I thought serving was so important in my life; and my main point revolved around Jesus modeling serving over and over throughout His ministry. Every time I question my motives, or feel used, I remember this passage.

"Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ²⁷and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:27-28

Very humbling...isn't it?

EED