How much noise do I really need to surround myself with? A lot apparently. While I am writing short this post, I have a DVD playing on tv, a tv show playing on my computer, music playing on my Ipod. So much for being focused. What am I trying to leave out? I am not so sure now.. Am I so scared to listen to the outside world that I am willing to let all these distractions be in the way of what could be important lessons? Who knows?
Tonight is Dec, 31 and maybe, just maybe some time after midnight I will unplug everything and start listening again.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
EED,
Showing posts with label random ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random ramblings. Show all posts
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
In progress...
Tonight, I did something I haven't done in a very long time. I cranked the music up and started dancing right in my kitchen. There was no special occasion, I wasn't particularly happy or anything... I just started dancing, and it felt good!
I have been in progress the past few months... Not sure how to explain it, but it has been (and still is) a pretty hard process to go through. Who said that the journey of faith was fun and easy? I think I want a refund! There are times when looking back just doesn't cut it, I still feel so stuck in the present and the current situation and the storms of life; that I can't move. I feel paralyzed and scared. The random dancing tonight was liberating, it was a way for me to feel alive again, to feel like there is a reason behind my sleepless nights.
Anyway, I better try to get some sleep... good night!
EED
I have been in progress the past few months... Not sure how to explain it, but it has been (and still is) a pretty hard process to go through. Who said that the journey of faith was fun and easy? I think I want a refund! There are times when looking back just doesn't cut it, I still feel so stuck in the present and the current situation and the storms of life; that I can't move. I feel paralyzed and scared. The random dancing tonight was liberating, it was a way for me to feel alive again, to feel like there is a reason behind my sleepless nights.
Anyway, I better try to get some sleep... good night!
EED
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Here's to you! (from me)
My life took a tragic turn a few years ago when I returned to Christ on a chilly Sunday morning. My life has been nothing but chaos ever since.
First there was the deafening tug of war in my heart telling me to help somebody. What does that even mean: “help somebody”???? I struggled with questions like these for a while. People have always described me as a “nice person”, but I could already tell that this was way beyond simply being nice: it was about being kind. I had to relearn to be kind, to be kind to:
- the stranger sitting next to me during service (even though I like to concentrate on the message, rather than making small talk),
- to my coworkers (and actually mean it),
- to the person in line in front of me at the grocery store (even though they were paying the cashier with quarters)…
It is so much easier to be kind from afar.
After a few months of these exercises, I felt like it was time to do just a little more. A little being the key words here. I simply was not ready for anything too crazy, or adventurous. So, I naturally ended up in New Orleans, covered in fiberglass from installing insulation (very itchy!), and gutting an abandoned house after a flood. So much for “a little”!
I settled down somewhat since that period of time, gaining a few pounds in the process. I have switched things a little, from just doing stuff to planning instead. I now have more headaches, but less body aches!
If you asked me why I do these things, I would have to answer that it is because the voices in my head tell me to. Well, not really… To me, it is more about the way I felt on that Sunday March morning years ago. I want the people I serve to feel that way. I want the people who read this to feel that way. I want everyone to feel that way! Until then, I’ll keep doing my part, will you?
Here is to more chaos! Hear, hear!
EED
First there was the deafening tug of war in my heart telling me to help somebody. What does that even mean: “help somebody”???? I struggled with questions like these for a while. People have always described me as a “nice person”, but I could already tell that this was way beyond simply being nice: it was about being kind. I had to relearn to be kind, to be kind to:
- the stranger sitting next to me during service (even though I like to concentrate on the message, rather than making small talk),
- to my coworkers (and actually mean it),
- to the person in line in front of me at the grocery store (even though they were paying the cashier with quarters)…
It is so much easier to be kind from afar.
After a few months of these exercises, I felt like it was time to do just a little more. A little being the key words here. I simply was not ready for anything too crazy, or adventurous. So, I naturally ended up in New Orleans, covered in fiberglass from installing insulation (very itchy!), and gutting an abandoned house after a flood. So much for “a little”!
I settled down somewhat since that period of time, gaining a few pounds in the process. I have switched things a little, from just doing stuff to planning instead. I now have more headaches, but less body aches!
If you asked me why I do these things, I would have to answer that it is because the voices in my head tell me to. Well, not really… To me, it is more about the way I felt on that Sunday March morning years ago. I want the people I serve to feel that way. I want the people who read this to feel that way. I want everyone to feel that way! Until then, I’ll keep doing my part, will you?
Here is to more chaos! Hear, hear!
EED
Friday, November 27, 2009
Precious
I was watching a movie called "Precious" and it made me think about love... The movie takes the main character, named Precious, from a place of pain, despair and hardship to determination, relationships and love... From a life lived with no notion of love, she discovers that healthy relationships can make a difference in someone's life.
The things we do for love... the things we do to be a part of something bigger than ourselves... the things we do to belong. They don't always make sense, they don't always feel right, they are the choices we make.
Love means to put myself out there, love means to make mistakes, love means to admit that I don't have it altogether. Love means to remember that I am precious. Are you?
EED
The things we do for love... the things we do to be a part of something bigger than ourselves... the things we do to belong. They don't always make sense, they don't always feel right, they are the choices we make.
Love means to put myself out there, love means to make mistakes, love means to admit that I don't have it altogether. Love means to remember that I am precious. Are you?
EED
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Life is changing so fast...
I am little nostalgic tonight. Life is changing so fast...
One of my closest friend from high school is getting married in December. She is so happy, and ready to start this new adventure. The funny thing about this, she did not want to get married. Growing up, it was me, Sagal and Eva.... the 3 musketeers! Sagal was the least likely to get married. HAHA. She is getting married in Mali, West Africa, and I will miss her special day.
Another close friend from college just had her first baby a few days ago (read her beautiful and touching birth story on this link). And you guessed it... she did not want to have children. HAHA! She gave birth to a healthy 7lbs,1.3 ounces, 19.4 inches babygirl.
In both cases, they sound so happy about the unexpected turns in their lives. It gives me hope that God's timing is always perfect, that He listens to our plans and gently smiles, knowing that His are for superior.
Congratulations to both of you!
PS: Hijabee if you read this, let me know when would be a good time to come up for an overdue visit.
EED
One of my closest friend from high school is getting married in December. She is so happy, and ready to start this new adventure. The funny thing about this, she did not want to get married. Growing up, it was me, Sagal and Eva.... the 3 musketeers! Sagal was the least likely to get married. HAHA. She is getting married in Mali, West Africa, and I will miss her special day.
Another close friend from college just had her first baby a few days ago (read her beautiful and touching birth story on this link). And you guessed it... she did not want to have children. HAHA! She gave birth to a healthy 7lbs,1.3 ounces, 19.4 inches babygirl.
In both cases, they sound so happy about the unexpected turns in their lives. It gives me hope that God's timing is always perfect, that He listens to our plans and gently smiles, knowing that His are for superior.
Congratulations to both of you!
PS: Hijabee if you read this, let me know when would be a good time to come up for an overdue visit.
EED
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Rest
I knew I was in trouble at church earlier today, when during service, pastor Doug talked about the need to set up time aside to spend with God and my first thought was:
-"I really need to be more disciplined about my ONE hour quiet time with God"
To which (as if he was reading my mind), pastor Doug quickly added that we needed an entire day of rest to spend time with God. A day of sabbath, a day of rest. OUCH! I was way off!
I am not sure what I am so busy doing. I don't think I am chasing money really, I am not chasing guys, I am not chasing the next gadget, I am not chasing empty dreams... I am just really busy.
As I laid on my bed, restless once again, I started wondering: "WHAT am I chasing?". I am chasing my past, chasing my future, chasing my destiny, chasing healthy relationships, chasing God, chasing... I don't know.
I don't ever want to be too busy to spend some quiet time with God. I don't ever want to give an hour to God. I want to give my entire life to Him. I want to be a living sacrifice. I want to live a prayerful life, not pray occasionally. I want to be His.
I am still a work in progress... thank goodness for that.
EED
-"I really need to be more disciplined about my ONE hour quiet time with God"
To which (as if he was reading my mind), pastor Doug quickly added that we needed an entire day of rest to spend time with God. A day of sabbath, a day of rest. OUCH! I was way off!
I am not sure what I am so busy doing. I don't think I am chasing money really, I am not chasing guys, I am not chasing the next gadget, I am not chasing empty dreams... I am just really busy.
As I laid on my bed, restless once again, I started wondering: "WHAT am I chasing?". I am chasing my past, chasing my future, chasing my destiny, chasing healthy relationships, chasing God, chasing... I don't know.
I don't ever want to be too busy to spend some quiet time with God. I don't ever want to give an hour to God. I want to give my entire life to Him. I want to be a living sacrifice. I want to live a prayerful life, not pray occasionally. I want to be His.
I am still a work in progress... thank goodness for that.
EED
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
A kind word can...
A kind word can change my mood,
A kind word can make me less grumpy,
A kind word can remind me to be more forgiving,
A kind word can help me focus on something besides myself,
A kind word can unlock the door of my heart and spread its content,
A kind word can put a smile on my face, make me forget my worries,
A kind word can make a difference in the way I treat my family, friends and coworkers,
A kind work can inspire me to be more inspiring to others.
A kind word might be what someone needs right now.
So, here is one for you: "You are loved, my friend".
Good night,
EED
A kind word can make me less grumpy,
A kind word can remind me to be more forgiving,
A kind word can help me focus on something besides myself,
A kind word can unlock the door of my heart and spread its content,
A kind word can put a smile on my face, make me forget my worries,
A kind word can make a difference in the way I treat my family, friends and coworkers,
A kind work can inspire me to be more inspiring to others.
A kind word might be what someone needs right now.
So, here is one for you: "You are loved, my friend".
Good night,
EED
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Something stupid...
Boy, do I LOVE this song!!!! I haven't heard in a while. I like the original version of course, but I like what Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman did with the song a few years ago:
Monday, March 23, 2009
Blogger's block
I am currently suffering from a mild case of blogger's block (combined with general life busy-ness)...
Will be back very soon :)
EED
Will be back very soon :)
EED
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Revelation
Heard this song earlier today... It's been stuck in my head ever since.
"Revelation" by Third Day
"Revelation" by Third Day
Thursday, February 26, 2009
One of my new favorite songs
"I will rise" by Chris Tomlin
"And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise"
"And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise"
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Exercise daily: walk with Jesus
I went for a walk for the first time in a little while last week. The sun was out, the temperature was close to 40 degrees, no cold wind, great "walking" playlist on my iPod... Perfect conditions! I then remembered this sign I saw a few months ago while driving:
"Exercise daily: walk with Jesus"
Do I need perfect conditions to walk with Jesus? Do I need to be in a certain mood? Do I need to be at the food pantry or a busy grocery store? Do I need to be alone or with others? Do I need to be at Church or at Panera Bread? Do I need to listen to the right kind of music? Do I need to be on a full stomach, or fasting?
"Exercise daily: walk with Jesus"
Do I need perfect conditions to walk with Jesus? Do I need to be in a certain mood? Do I need to be at the food pantry or a busy grocery store? Do I need to be alone or with others? Do I need to be at Church or at Panera Bread? Do I need to listen to the right kind of music? Do I need to be on a full stomach, or fasting?
Just thinking out loud...
EED
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Semi comatose...
My sister used the expression "semi-comatose" to describe me for the past few days. I don't think I have slept this much in a very long time. I have been drifting in and out of a strange sleep filled with short dreams, body aches, headaches, sneezing, and other fun stuff. Needless to say that the concept of rest really hit home for me. I have been praying for a speedy recovery, but I am now trying to take advantage of the down-time.
Semi comatose- I like that. I am not sure I like what it entails though...All I can see right now is a pile of laundry taunting me, the dishes piling up next door, the outside world covered in snow (well, not too excited about that...). Semi comatose means that all I can do now is rest. Rest in HIS presence, rest in HIS arms, rest and find comfort in HIS Word.
I will definitely get a flu shot next year!
EED
Semi comatose- I like that. I am not sure I like what it entails though...All I can see right now is a pile of laundry taunting me, the dishes piling up next door, the outside world covered in snow (well, not too excited about that...). Semi comatose means that all I can do now is rest. Rest in HIS presence, rest in HIS arms, rest and find comfort in HIS Word.
I will definitely get a flu shot next year!
EED
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The quest
Acoustic version of one of my new favorite songs:
"The quest" by Bryn Christopher
"My life has had it’s share of troubles
And now I found a place to go
I’ve said goodbye to all my troubles
’cause now I’ve find my place to go
What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that"
"The quest" by Bryn Christopher
"My life has had it’s share of troubles
And now I found a place to go
I’ve said goodbye to all my troubles
’cause now I’ve find my place to go
What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that"
Monday, December 22, 2008
Five things (I've been tagged!)
I have been tagged by my very good friend Hijabee. So here goes:
5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
- Started my senior year in high school
- Had a HUGE crush on M.D (as did every girl in my class!).
- Was part of a the 3D's. My 2 best friends and I had last names beginning with the letter D (and the band 3T was very popular at the time-lol)
- Often made elaborate plans to skip school, only to chicken out at the last minute
- Sneaked into R-rated movies
5 things on my to-do list:
- Finish my reading of the Old Testament
-Get a new couch
- Organize my closet
- Get a new library card
- Watch the new Will Smith movie
5 snacks I like:
- (Cheddar) cheese and (Ritz) crackers
- Twix
- Chocolate in general
- Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream (not really a snack... or is it???)
- Chips & salsa
5 things I would do as a millionaire:
- Tithe on it
- Help out a few people
- Travel
- Get a house on a beach
- Arrange for a private meeting with Anderson Cooper :)
5 places I have lived (for various) length of time:
- Dakar, Senegal
- Lome, Togo
- Bordeaux, France
- Wilmington, OH
- Dayton, OH
5 jobs I have had:
- Tutor
- Admin assistant
- Customer service rep
- Accounts receivable
- Accounts payable
5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
- Started my senior year in high school
- Had a HUGE crush on M.D (as did every girl in my class!).
- Was part of a the 3D's. My 2 best friends and I had last names beginning with the letter D (and the band 3T was very popular at the time-lol)
- Often made elaborate plans to skip school, only to chicken out at the last minute
- Sneaked into R-rated movies
5 things on my to-do list:
- Finish my reading of the Old Testament
-Get a new couch
- Organize my closet
- Get a new library card
- Watch the new Will Smith movie
5 snacks I like:
- (Cheddar) cheese and (Ritz) crackers
- Twix
- Chocolate in general
- Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream (not really a snack... or is it???)
- Chips & salsa
5 things I would do as a millionaire:
- Tithe on it
- Help out a few people
- Travel
- Get a house on a beach
- Arrange for a private meeting with Anderson Cooper :)
5 places I have lived (for various) length of time:
- Dakar, Senegal
- Lome, Togo
- Bordeaux, France
- Wilmington, OH
- Dayton, OH
5 jobs I have had:
- Tutor
- Admin assistant
- Customer service rep
- Accounts receivable
- Accounts payable
Friday, December 5, 2008
Winter anxiety
-"Breaking news! One snow flurry has officially touched the ground! We'll be back with how this will affect your morning commute... Stay tuned!"
One thing I don't really like about winter (besides driving in inches of snow) is the exaggerated daily weather reports on the local news. I am not sure how it works in other parts of the country, but the every 10-minute updated traffic updates are an integral part of the morning news. Yes, they are useful, don't get me wrong, but I simply don't understand why they have to sound so dramatic.
I used to wake up every morning to alarming reports of back ice and possible snow showers, only to find a dusting of snow and a gray sky waiting for me outside. I would give myself panic attacks watching these reports. I snapped out of it one day last year, after canceling an appointment, because the weather and traffic reports sounded too alarming. I am still not sure of what video footage they used, but when I finally made it outside, I felt REALLY silly. Not only was it not snowing, the sun was shining brightly that day!
A big part of it, is me being a chicken (I am not going to deny it)... but still... Nowadays, I just walk outside, or better yet open my blinds!
Happy winter!
EED
One thing I don't really like about winter (besides driving in inches of snow) is the exaggerated daily weather reports on the local news. I am not sure how it works in other parts of the country, but the every 10-minute updated traffic updates are an integral part of the morning news. Yes, they are useful, don't get me wrong, but I simply don't understand why they have to sound so dramatic.
I used to wake up every morning to alarming reports of back ice and possible snow showers, only to find a dusting of snow and a gray sky waiting for me outside. I would give myself panic attacks watching these reports. I snapped out of it one day last year, after canceling an appointment, because the weather and traffic reports sounded too alarming. I am still not sure of what video footage they used, but when I finally made it outside, I felt REALLY silly. Not only was it not snowing, the sun was shining brightly that day!
A big part of it, is me being a chicken (I am not going to deny it)... but still... Nowadays, I just walk outside, or better yet open my blinds!
Happy winter!
EED
Saturday, November 22, 2008
This year's resolutions...
December 2008 is fast approaching... time to do a self evaluation of this year's resolutions. I didn't write any goals down, but there were a few things I felt really needed to change this year. These were the top ones:
1- Go to church EVERY Sunday.
Check- I switched to Saturday nights (Saturday night rocks!) and I serve on Sunday mornings. I wasn't planning in being involved with anything at all... being at church was good enough... at least for a while. I have had to miss a few services when I was out of town, but that's about it. I am thinking about slacking off next year :)
2- Heal my broken heart
Check (almost)- Tough one. I started the year pretty well, but it went downhill fairly quickly. I was waiting for someone to set me free, instead of turning to my Heavenly Father. The good news is that God was with me EVERY step of the way. I really don't know what could have happened if He hadn't reached out to me. He picked me up, comforted me, gave me hope and sent some wonderful people in my life. Forever grateful!
3- Exercise 5 days a week
Really dropped the ball on that one. I was doing fairly good until July- August... I have a few decent excuses, but that's all they are... excuses. I am getting back to the gym next week...maybe...
4- Hang on to Ps 138:8
Check- DR cited this verse earlier this year, and I have held on to it ever since. I remember walking out of that service feeling like I could take on the world, as long as I had God by my side. One thing I wasn't able to do from this outline was developing a 5-year plan. I can't even establish a 1-year plan yet. Should I panic and get to it? Probably... I really feel that this year was more about waiting (not the same as inaction) and listening (active listening).
Of course some of the most amazing things that happened to me this year were completely unplanned! God is good!
Next year will be even better!
EED
1- Go to church EVERY Sunday.
Check- I switched to Saturday nights (Saturday night rocks!) and I serve on Sunday mornings. I wasn't planning in being involved with anything at all... being at church was good enough... at least for a while. I have had to miss a few services when I was out of town, but that's about it. I am thinking about slacking off next year :)
2- Heal my broken heart
Check (almost)- Tough one. I started the year pretty well, but it went downhill fairly quickly. I was waiting for someone to set me free, instead of turning to my Heavenly Father. The good news is that God was with me EVERY step of the way. I really don't know what could have happened if He hadn't reached out to me. He picked me up, comforted me, gave me hope and sent some wonderful people in my life. Forever grateful!
3- Exercise 5 days a week
Really dropped the ball on that one. I was doing fairly good until July- August... I have a few decent excuses, but that's all they are... excuses. I am getting back to the gym next week...maybe...
4- Hang on to Ps 138:8
Check- DR cited this verse earlier this year, and I have held on to it ever since. I remember walking out of that service feeling like I could take on the world, as long as I had God by my side. One thing I wasn't able to do from this outline was developing a 5-year plan. I can't even establish a 1-year plan yet. Should I panic and get to it? Probably... I really feel that this year was more about waiting (not the same as inaction) and listening (active listening).
Of course some of the most amazing things that happened to me this year were completely unplanned! God is good!
Next year will be even better!
EED
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