The question this week was: what am I worried about?
The question should have been: what am I not worried about?
I am worried about my mom, my dad, my little brother, my little sister, my baby brother, my friends, my car, my electric bill, finding my remote control, pursuing my purpose, getting an ulcer from worrying so much.... I used to wake up in the middle of the night, and just lay there, feeling so anxious and worried, with my mind racing faster than Marion Jones (too soon for Marion Jones jokes?)
I remember reading the gospel of Matthew a few months ago, and everywhere I looked, Jesus kept asking me "Why do you have so little faith? Why won't you trust me?" I mentioned in an earlier post that I feel like a different person since I let God take over. Every sense of control I thought I had over my life feels like a giant illusion. It's actually pretty scary, but very liberating at the same time. Worrying about events I can't control feels almost pointless.
Well, only almost... I place all my worries, hopes, dreams and fears in His hands, but sometimes (usually late at night, or when I drive alone for more than 30 minutes), my mind starts asking questions again. "What if...? Then what?" I wish I could stop this cycle, but I also know that once I calm down, I start feeling His peaceful and comforting presence. There really is nothing like it. All I need to do is have faith in Him.
"You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. " Matthew 8: 26
I used to worry so much about what people thought about me. Just yesterday, a friend of mine commented on me "having it all together". By the way, what does it even mean to have it all together? I think it's all part of the illusion... A few months ago, I would have been so happy to hear his comment, but last night, all I said was: "I don't think so, but I try..."
EED
The question should have been: what am I not worried about?
I am worried about my mom, my dad, my little brother, my little sister, my baby brother, my friends, my car, my electric bill, finding my remote control, pursuing my purpose, getting an ulcer from worrying so much.... I used to wake up in the middle of the night, and just lay there, feeling so anxious and worried, with my mind racing faster than Marion Jones (too soon for Marion Jones jokes?)
I remember reading the gospel of Matthew a few months ago, and everywhere I looked, Jesus kept asking me "Why do you have so little faith? Why won't you trust me?" I mentioned in an earlier post that I feel like a different person since I let God take over. Every sense of control I thought I had over my life feels like a giant illusion. It's actually pretty scary, but very liberating at the same time. Worrying about events I can't control feels almost pointless.
Well, only almost... I place all my worries, hopes, dreams and fears in His hands, but sometimes (usually late at night, or when I drive alone for more than 30 minutes), my mind starts asking questions again. "What if...? Then what?" I wish I could stop this cycle, but I also know that once I calm down, I start feeling His peaceful and comforting presence. There really is nothing like it. All I need to do is have faith in Him.
"You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. " Matthew 8: 26
I used to worry so much about what people thought about me. Just yesterday, a friend of mine commented on me "having it all together". By the way, what does it even mean to have it all together? I think it's all part of the illusion... A few months ago, I would have been so happy to hear his comment, but last night, all I said was: "I don't think so, but I try..."
EED
No comments:
Post a Comment