Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Quick connect series

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10

The gift of grace is still puzzling to me. It's the one gift I can never repay, the one gift I am and will always be thankful for. To think that I am God's workmanship is even more puzzling... It's hard to get my head around the fact that He uses flawed people to accomplish His will. I was convinced that I needed to have my life in order to do good works. And if my life didn't look good, well I could always pretend it was.

After receiving the gift of grace, I started getting the nudge to do something about it. Not to repay the gift (even though that was my first impulse), but to help others feel the same way I did. When I asked where I could start, my friend Scott shared a profound piece of wisdom with me:

"Start from where you are, with what you have."

OK, simple enough:

- Start from where you are: Finding a place to serve was easy. There are so many opportunities waiting to be filled. Not just in the walls in the church, but outside my comfort zone. I started looking around, listening, caring, and doing what I could. I simply figured that the good works prepared in advance for me to do had to be in there somewhere. I like to think that He honors every act of service we do in His name. I have seen and heard enough stories to be convinced that He uses the most random and routine acts to change people's lives.

- With what you have: I made a list of the things I was good at and started from there. After wondering why I didn't have certain gifts, I started focusing on the ones I have. There is a good reason I don't have the same talents as some of my close friends. We all somehow manage to complement each other when it comes to serving.

The Quick Connect series was all about using the gifts we have to help make a difference in someone's life. I remember reading somewhere that: "Small things done with great love will change to world". When I am not sure I am doing my part, I try to remember that what I did, I (hopefully) did in love, and that's all that matters really...

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: The growing series

(In order to catch up on my reflections, I decided to write one post per series, at least until I am all caught up).

The series on growing came at a pivotal time in my life. I felt stuck, uncertain of the next step... you know, the feeling you get when you already have the answer, but you are just too scared to actually do anything about it. So, I prayed. I prayed for growth, as painful as it was. One thing I realized throughout the series is that no matter how inconvenient, untimely, tedious it may be, growing is simply necessary.

It's only been a few months since I started praying for continued growth, but I can see the seeds started to give fruits. I can see the changes inside of me, and the effect it has on my family, friends and community. I don't know how long this period will last, but I really like to think of growing as a process... whether lifelong, or just for a season.

Although the series on growth has been over for a few months, I faced my test last week. God's timing is always impeccable. I think I passed, I am not sure. I am not even sure there was a pass/fail grade involved... All I know is that I feel at peace with some of the decisions I have struggled with. It's only taken me a couple of years! HAHA!



God is good!

EED

Just a few notes...

Just a couple of notes and questions from the second book of Samuel...

2 Samuel 3:39- King David? Scared? Weak? "Where does my help come from?"

2 Samuel 5: 10- What is power? How do you get power? Can you ever get be truly powerful without having the Lord on your side?

2 Samuel 6: 22- Humility and worship from the King of Israel to the Higher power... Kind of answers my previous questions in reference to verse 2 Samuel 5:10

2 Samuel 7: 18- Who am I to receive such blessings from the Lord?
David then turns around, shares "God's kindness" with Jonathan's son, and gets asked the same question in 2 Samuel 9: 8. Yes, David made a pact with Jonathan, but I really think this is what happens to people after they personally experience God's touch: they turn around and extend the same touch, kindness, love to others...

EED

Begging for a new king

Interesting that my reading of the Old Testament led me to the book of Samuel as these uncertain times (at least uncertain for us, not for our Heavenly Father) unfold...

After years of fully relying on God (with some major and memorable bad decisions), the Israelites decided, or actually demanded to have a human king reign over them. Before the Israelites demanded their king, there were a few mentions in the book of Judges that God was the supreme authority, and the Israelites did NOT need a king to rule over them.

"In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit" Judges 21:25

Yet, they insisted, pleaded, cried and begged Samuel to ask God for a king!

[Before I move any further, I need to mention that Samuel is one of my heroes... Conceived as a response to Hannah's constant and faithful prayer, he was destined to be a servant to the Lord. I try to remember the following verse when I struggle with hearing the voice of the Lord:
"Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD : The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him." 1 Samuel 3:7
Note to self: need to dedicate an entire post to Samuel...]

Now, back to the Israelites begging for a king... They were given fair warning... "Are you sure this is what you want?". This sounds a lot like me, trying to "make it happen"... So many times, I tried to run ahead of Him, thinking I could make it all by myself. It's easier to give myself credit for good things, than to thank God for everything He does for me EVERY single day. Hopefully, I am getting better at listening to warnings, especially when they are as specific as this one:

- "[When that day comes,] you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day" 1 Samuel 8:18

Of course he answered the Israelites, of course He listened to their cries, of course He cares for me... Always cleaning up after me.

Thank you, Father.

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Growing part 3: Planting

I have been reading some of the entries in my old journals and something I heard during a seminar last year stood out to me:

"Once you start your faith journey, you just don't know where you will end up..."

At the time, I must admit that I found this a little discouraging... Once I got past the optimism in this encouraging word, I kept thinking: "All this planting, and I can't even get a sneak peek of what the crop might look like." I was missing the point of this comment: which was the act of planting. To rephrase the sentence:

"Once you decide to start planting seeds in your life, you have NO idea of how God is going to bless the crop in your life".

It's certainly been true for me... I starting planting seeds of service in my life almost as soon as I rededicated my life back to Christ. I needed to start somewhere, so I started right where I was... I felt very strongly that I needed to adopt a "Just show up attitude" and let God use me the way He wanted. I kept showing up, to the point where one of my friends called me a "volunteer hog"- haha. Through planting, and serving, I learned much more about myself then I thought possible. I have met wonderful people, and seen God use each of these experiences to bless others and myself.

I was sharing with some teens I volunteer with why I thought serving was so important in my life; and my main point revolved around Jesus modeling serving over and over throughout His ministry. Every time I question my motives, or feel used, I remember this passage.

"Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ²⁷and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:27-28

Very humbling...isn't it?

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Growing- Part 2- Soil management

I sometimes wonder how good the soil is in different parts of my heart. Some areas are dryer than I care to admit, while others seem to be growing faster than I ever thought possible. As I try to start thinking of where to begin the healing journey on some of this less-than-top-soil, I wonder if the process will be painful... I suppose it will be, at least a little. Soil management sounds like a lot of hard work.



There is a part of me that is comfortable living in the status quo and that is not ready to make the changes needed to grow. The other part of me (which incidentally is a little louder) can't help but look back at the painful times I have been through and the impact they've had on my spiritual walk... Knowing this does not make growing any easier, it just makes it more bearable.

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Growing part 1: Sow what?

I really like the new series on growth. Growing has been a crucial part of my life in the past few years. Growing can sometimes be forced, but sustainable growth requires more than the initial push. It demands commitment, patience, and endurance. The fruits, well, they depend on what I decide to sow.



When I started on my growth journey, I really was not sure of where I would end up (I am still not sure of where I will end up...). I was very lost, very sad, very depressed, very angry, but I was also very tired of feeling that way. I had to do something, I had to commit to something, someone bigger than me. I had to consciously decide to take a step and start planting new seeds in my life. The crops could hopefully not be as bad as the previous ones I had planted. And that's what I did. I started planting, investing, sharing, opening up, serving... God really honors that I think. He honors that first step, that first leap of faith.

I started planting seeds to grow closer to God, and I have seen results in so many different areas of my life. I am still planting, I have more growing to do, more emotional healing to go through, more lessons to learn. Yet, every time I start planting new seeds, I am still amazed at God's faithfulness throughout the process. It's hard for me to take any credit when I see some of the things happening in my life, but I love it when I can see the Word come alive in my life:

"A man reaps what he sows." Galatians 6:7

It's pretty matter of fact...

EED

Vision

We've been talking about vision in my small group for the past few weeks. What is the vision for my life? This leads me to another confession: every time I hear someone say "God called me to be (...)", I feel a little sad, because I haven't figured out the (...) for my life yet. Not jealous, or envious, just a little sad. I have a vision for my life, I think. It just feels a little fuzzy sometimes, at least it felt this way until a few minutes ago.

I was listening to Brandon Heath's song "Give me your eyes" this morning, and I silently prayed that I would have "His eyes for just one second" (or maybe two seconds). That's when I realized, that I probably could not handle having His eyes, even for one second because... I would freak out! I'd try to deal, negotiate or even worse, try to make it happen. I'll just be content with what I have for now, thank you...



I just love when messages like that travel from my brain to my heart!


EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge recap

It's hard to believe that the 9 challenge has been over for a few weeks now. I guess it IS possible to read the New Testament in 9 weeks.

I have a confession to make... I kind of feel good when I hear people I consider mature Christians admit that they still don't have it all figured out. I find it very humbling, and comforting. It makes me feel better about my own spiritual growing pains. These spiritual growing pains usually happen during transition periods, particularly when I am trying to apply God's Word in my life. I can read it, and agree with it, but actually doing what is says takes another level of commitment.

Praying for people, for example, is not my forte. I have taken classes, listened to other people pray, read a couple of books. I know what the Bible says about the importance of praying and encouraging each other, but actually doing was really hard for me. I worried about saying the right words, having the right tone, quoting a few verses maybe, you know... sounding spiritual.

It became a little easier over time, and before I knew it, I started offering to pray for my friends after they shared their situations with me. I still struggle with that sometimes, but I am learning to get over it. It's all about remembering that I am not the one in charge, God is.

I really like the 3 steps to applying God's Word in my life mentioned in the message:

- Learn it!
-Love it!
-Live it!

I hope I remember them. After all, reading about helping your neighbor is fun... actually driving 16+ hours to help total strangers in New Orleans: priceless!

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge: Eternity

I am still puzzled by the free gift of salvation. I didn't do anything to deserve it, I can't repay it, I can't exchange it. A neat aspect of this gift is the certainty of spending eternity with my Heavenly Father... pretty cool if you ask me.

When I think of eternity, and what seems like a really long time (for lack of a better term), I instinctively see pearly gates, flowers everywhere, white robes, harps... I am not sure if this is an accurate picture, all I know is that I get to go there. Not because of anything I did, do, or will do. Nope. It's a gift. I can't pretend that I am not scared of death, in fact I try not to think about it. But when I do, after the initial wave of fear and uncertainty, I remember Jesus' promise to prepare a room for me, I remember the eternal peace, the infinite joy. It feels good just to think about these things.

Why am I an eternal student? Because even if I spent an eternity on this earth, I still would not begin to understand my Father's love and care for me. I could think, ponder, wonder, cry, laugh, serve, love, live an honoring life and still not fully get it. Knowing that we can look forward to spending eternity with my Heavenly Father makes it all worthwhile.

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge: Obedience

Choosing to obey sounds like a oxymoron. How do you "choose" to obey?

Choosing a lifestyle of obedience is one of the hardest I have had to do. The idea of surrendering any aspects of my life to someone else was (and still is) a little unsettling. I do it everyday, at work, at home, at church, in life in general... but I never really thought I had a choice in the matter. Obedience was just something I had to do, whether I wanted it or not.

I think I was so scared of this concept, because I didn't know who I was supposed to listen to. How do I know that I am obeying God's will for my life? I really don't have a clear answer to this question. Well, I kinda do, but I think I might be taken away in a straitjacket if I shared all the details (LOL). In uncertain times, I usually pray this very simple prayer:

"I pray Father God that I am following Your voice, and obeying Your commands".

Obedience to me is also about accountability. I firmly believe that God sent me people I need to be accountable to. I am thankful for them, they keep me on track. But if I really had to boil it down to one point, obedience just naturally derives from love. Don Miller said it best in his book: "Blue like jazz":

"When you don't love somebody, it gets annoying when they tell you what to do or what to feel. When you love them, you get pleasure from their pleasure and it makes it easy to serve" pg 14

Obedience to my Heavenly Father is a choice. It's a choice to know Him better and to love Him. Obedience just comes naturally (maybe not easily) from that.

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge: Godliness

-" I can't believe YOU said (or did) this!"

I seem to hear this expression more and more often. It used to upset me at first, but not so much anymore. I think it stopped bothering me when I realized that I am trying to be a godly person, and live a life honoring to God. I am not godly, justified, or sanctified yet... Hopefully I am on the right path.

When I attempt to rely on myself to be a good person, I can go at it for a while. I can say nice words, smile, be friendly, joke... but I run out of steam pretty quickly. A few negative comments or a stressful situation usually do the trick. Being godly in challenging situations is something I am still learning. It's easier for me to retreat in a place of isolation (I am not a really angry person) than to make the effort to respond appropriately.

I think a big part of my transformation has been the acknowledgment that I CAN'T rely on my own strength. The implications of this extend to the way I live my life, and how I interact with others. I was really scared of becoming too self righteous... but again, when I acknowledge that I am not in control, I (hopefully) start getting it.

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge: Forgiveness

Forgiveness is so easy on paper.

A good friend of mine hurt me recently. I am not sure if he did it on purpose, or if he was just joking... I rarely get offended, but I felt like he was attacking me for my beliefs, and it hurt more than I expected.

I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not. If he was just kidding, couldn't he tell that I was getting offended by his words? I am sure my facial expression gave my feelings away, but he just wouldn't stop. I don't think it would be so bad if he was just a stranger to me. It's always harder to forgive the ones I care about; because I feel like they should know better.

Tough questions:

- Do I forgive him IF he didn't mean to hurt me?
- What if he DID mean to hurt me? Then what?

Well, the Bible is pretty clear about the answer. Forgiving is not really about saying that what he did was right or wrong, it's about saying that I won't let him hold this power over me. In times like this, Jesus' words on the cross sound so MUCH more powerful:

"Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."And they divided up his clothes by casting lots" Luke 23:24

Words to live by... not simply read and forget.

EED

PS: Incidentally, I am kind of glad this happened...I believe it was a direct answer to a specific prayer request.

Scars

Back in my senior year of high school, I fell.

I was running track, focused on the finish line, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor, bleeding. I have played the scene back in my head time and time again, and I still can't figure out what happened. My shoes were perfectly tied, my pants were loose enough, the wind wasn't blowing at all, I wasn't pushed... I fell.

I didn't break anything, but my entire left side was covered in bruises: my left shoulder, my left elbow, my left knee, my left cheek were all covered in blood. It could have been worse, I guess. The point is... I quit running for a few years. Every time I tried to put on running shoes, I would still feel the sting in my left side. I would remember feeling helpless on the floor, while my friends were trying to lift me up and take me to the school nurse. I got over the fear of falling a while back, but it doesn't mean that I forgot about the pain...

The scars eventually disappeared, but the one of my left shoulder remains . I noticed it in the mirror the other day (it's actually barely noticeable unless I point it out). Seeing it made me think about fear, healing and forgiveness. It's sometimes very hard for me to let go of negative feelings that have followed me around for years. They are hard to let go because they feel so familiar, like the scars I used to carry. When I start feeling this way, I try to remember that I ended up running again. The fear is gone...

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge: Servanthood

A lot of my friends want to hear the following words at the end of their lives:

"Well done, you good and faithful servant" Matthew 25:21

I am no different, but some days are easier than others. There are days, when I don't feel like serving, but I do it anyway. Some mornings, I just want to spend one additional hour in bed, but I show up where I am needed instead. Not out of guilt, but because it feels right. Some people, like Pastor Steve Bowen our "Loving People" pastor makes it look so easy...

His message on servanthood really hit home. If Jesus Christ, the son of God, came to serve, then why is it so hard for me to go out and do the same? Am I not called to imitate Christ? Why is it so easy to forget or ignore about the serving part of his ministry? I think that one of the reasons I was so hesitant to make a commitment to Christ, is that I intuitively knew what it entailed. According to a spiritual gift test I took, "serving" is my main gift. This wasn't really a surprise; I used to call myself a softy... but servant sounds much better! Or does it?

Serving means forgetting about myself for a little while. It means genuinely caring about someone. Serving one person is a good start. Serving one person has a bigger impact than we can possibly imagine. I helped someone the other day, and she said that I was saving her life. In all fairness, all I did was listen to her story, pray for her and give her a ride somewhere. I don't think I will see her again. She said I saved her life, I say she saved mine. Every time I serve someone, I become a little more like Christ, "the way, the truth, and the life".

EED

Note: Wherever you are Charmene, please know that I am praying for you. It was no accident that you ended up on the steps where I met you. May God bless you, and protect you wherever you are. Amen.

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge: Perseverance

Last Thursday morning, on my way to my daily adventures, I faced a mini blizzard.

I left my house and noticed a few flurries on the ground, but didn't really think too much about it. I jumped in my car, and started driving. A few miles later, I could see something white and fuzzy in the distance. I wasn't really sure of what it was, so I simply kept driving... The white stuff turned out to be snowflakes blown away by the wind. I started frowning when more and more snowflakes started beating against my windshield. Next thing I knew, I could NOT see anything in front of me. I could not see the road, I could not see any other cars, I could not see where I was going. Pretty scary.

I thought about stopping, but it would have been really dangerous, given that other cars would not have been able to see me. Besides, I had no idea how long this mini blizzard would last. So, I just kept driving... I had no other option, but to keep driving... When I reached the exit I needed to take, the snow stopped. Not a single flake. And the sky... the sky was SO blue, and clear that I was mesmerized and kept staring at it for a minute (it's a good thing that there were only a few cars on the road). I said (screamed):

- "God! I don't get it, I don't understand it. But I love you."

I made it to my destination safely.

According to Wikipedia, I experienced what is called a "whiteout: a weather condition in which visibility and contrast are severely reduced by snow and diffuse lighting from overcast clouds."

Since I clearly ignored ALL the signs of the impending blizzard, I had not option but to:

- stay put (definitely could not turn around)
- step out (fight my winter anxiety)
- keep going (I had no other option)
- finish well (Thank you, God!)

I almost drove around to take a picture of the snow, but that would have just been completely crazy...

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: the 9 challenge: Generosity

"Last year, you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so"
2 Corinthians 8: 10

Some of the most generous people I have met are mothers. They seem to grasp and fully understand the concept of unconditional love and generosity. Take my mother for instance: she is one of the most generous persons I know. A loving and caring stay-at-home mom, she faithfully and gladly gave what she had to her children and her church. I still think that it is sometimes a little too easy to take advantage of her giving heart. She tried and tried to explain the importance of giving, but I never really got it growing up. Sure, I was a relatively nice person, but not really a generous one...

I think I am beginning to get it... little by little. It started with understanding generosity at an intellectual level (being generous is good); the concept is now slowly making its way to my heart (giving is good because...). I try to be a selfless and generous person, but it's hard sometimes to give without an agenda... in the "you reap what you sow" kind of way. Thankfully I have already realized that I will never be able to repay God for His generosity towards me.

I find comfort in knowing that I rarely give out of guilt as Paul suggested when he mentioned having the "DESIRE" to give.

What can I say? Mothers are always right!

EED

The 9 challenge

Our church has been doing something pretty cool since the beginning of the year. The 9 challenge is challenge to read the New Testament in 63 days, or 9 weeks. There are three different levels of involvements, as detailed on the 9 challenge website... Of course, I am shooting for the Gold Medal:

- Read through the New Testament
- Join a Nine Week Small Group
- Do the daily devotionals

Joining a small group, was a leap of faith for myself, and a few people in my 20's something small group. I knew I was supposed to be in a small group, I just didn't know how it was going to happen. Well, God apparently knew... Why am I not surprised?

I am especially exited about this challenge for several reasons:

- God is showing me some pretty amazing things through the readings. I am picking up on new concepts, and getting different perspectives on concepts I thought I understood.

- I really enjoy being a part of a small group. Great small group leaders, great people, great connections... and great Tim Hortons concoctions!

- I might actually read the entire Bible this year. I have read the New Testament before, but I have never finished reading the Old Testament. I decided to pause my reading of the Old Testament to start the challenge (except the readings I need for the Pentateuch class of course, Eric!). By the time the 9 challenge is done, I should (hopefully) get back to it and "Voila!"

- I believe God sent me a word through this challenge... It's a word I really needed to hear to keep on keeping on: "fulfill". I have been manually counting the number of times the words "fulfill/fulfillment" appear in my readings. Pretty amazing how the Old and the New are related. The new creation is rising from the old, in fulfillment of God's word.

- I really like the fact that we are doing the challenge as a church family! I don't think that everyone is doing the challenge, but I like knowing that those of us who are, are taking part in something bigger than themselves... That's pretty neat!

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: 9 challenge: God's love

God's love for me can sound crazy and irrational to me sometimes. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Love really is a choice. It's a choice to love Christ, myself, and others. It's a choice for me to be more like Christ, not only with my words, but through my actions. I have a hard time telling people that I love them... I always have... Instead, I have learned to show people how much I love them with the simple things I do: sending them notes, having coffee with them, helping them with their kids, hanging out with them while they wait at the dentist...

Love really is a choice. A choice to be there for someone, even when I don't feel like it; a choice to answer my phone; a choice to respect and honor the ones I love AND the ones I don't love so much. WHY? Because Jesus said so; plain and simple. He not only stated that we NEED to love our enemies, but He took the time to explain WHY it is necessary to do so:

"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?" Matthew 5:46

Love really is a choice. My first name "Elom" means "HE (God) loves me". His love leaves me speechless.

EED

3 things I learned about myself playing the Wiiiii

1) I can be very self conscious.

I know, I know... Isn't everyone?

Even though I was playing with friends, I felt so uncomfortable the first time we played, that I actually stopped and did something else. I tend to intentionally withdraw from situations at times, mostly because I try to anticipate what might happen. Fortunately, I didn't let my self consciousness stop me from having a good time after a little while. I joined everyone and ended up having fun...well kinda... I am starting to realize that there is no such thing as "happily ever after".

Someone gave me an image a few months ago that I really liked. They saw me in front of a big and beautiful flower field. For some reason, I was just standing on the side, not doing anything, until I heard someone say: "Come!!!". I then walked into the field and simply enjoyed it... sounds a lot like me.

2) I sometimes take things WAY too seriously

...which results in me being very frustrated when I can't achieve something. We were all having fun while playing a game of bowling, and for no apparent reason, I just could not throw the ball correctly. There was nothing wrong with the controller, I just started sucking. No one could figure out what I was doing wrong. It was very frustrating. Witnesses say that it was very painful to watch, well, it was painful to be in that position. I was so focused on the game, that I completely forgot about the big picture.

I do that in "real life". It's a vicious cycle, where I want to perform, but get nervous from the pressure, fail because I am so nervous, get frustrated. And back to the beginning. One word: RELAX. I am getting better at catching myself in the act, and listening to people around me.

3) I am persistent

One thing I think I am pretty good at, is taking criticism. I like suggestions, comments, constructive criticism, directions. Well, maybe not from just anyone; there needs to be some sort of relationship established: teacher/student, brother/sister, friend/friend, writer/reader, dragon/grasshopper... It's all about relationships as the bump stickers say. I listen, I grumble, I go back to the drawing board, and come back. Repeat as many times as needed.

I started out with a "mean curve" and other issues, but after hours of non-stop bowling, I ended defeating the house champion even though, I am pretty sure he gracefully let me win... I don't mind! I WON!

EED