2011 was quite the strange year for me. I was rather nervous about what the year would bring... and specifically the way it would usher my 30th birthday. That's right, I turned THIRTY last year! Oh heavens, it was hard. Fears, insecurities, questions, anxiety about the past, the present and the future, all made an appearance at one point or another. The rather organized and polished 5 year plan I had created for myself had completely and utterly failed. Single, no kids, no fancy cars, no.... the list went on and on.
As in any good story though, something changed along the way... I suspect it started with a trip back home in Senegal, where I grew up. It was my first time "home" in about 8 years. Speaking of, what's home really? As a third culture kid, it's really hard for me to answer, but more on that topic another time.
Here is my favorite picture of my 2 week trip: I call it "The point of no return".
That's the actual name of this door. The picture was taken on Goree island, which was the point of departure for many African slaves captured in the western part of the continent. For most slaves, the door represented the last point hope before leaving the lives they knew behind. There are no step beyond the door, just the ocean, where I always imagined the ships docked and picked up their human "cargo". I have always cried at the point of this tour of the old slave house, but that day I felt numb. I am still not sure what happened that day, but it felt like the beginning of a long and surprisingly rewarding journey.
I knew I needed to make some dreaded lifestyle changes, and so I did... very...very slowly and...very reluctantly. The past 2-3 years had been filled with just unwise decisions and choices. The bottom line: I just stopped taking of myself. I made small changes: in a work environment, where relaxed clothing was the norm, I stopped wearing T-shirts on weekdays and starting "dressing up" on Sundays. I took swimming lessons. I ran a few 5k races. Small changes, but they made a difference in the way I felt. I traveled more: Chicago, Detroit, DC (one of my favorite cities)... Arizona. (I have ALWAYS wanted to see the Arizona desert, and it was more beautiful than I ever imagined).
And then, it happened... I turned 30..THIRTY. The point of no return! I celebrated with my family, my birthday with my mother for the first time in years. I celebrated with friends, who love and care for me. I celebrated with strangers, who kept calling me a "youngin". It felt amazing. It felt peaceful. It felt right. Sure some things haven't changed, but what changed mattered in more ways than I could have expected. I can openly admit that I am a sucker for cheesy things, but I never really believed the saying about the journey and destination... good thing there is hope for everyone...
eed
