Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Heroes- Part 7

My friend Renée (she wants props!) told me recently that she realized that:

"Delayed obedience is the same as disobedience".

Got it, Jonah? Got it, Elom? (well, she wasn't talking about me... at least I hope she wasn't). Jonah's prayer in chapter 2 is so deep, so meaningful, so sincere, but in in the end he still doesn't get it! Jonah got angry four times in chapter 4 alone, God did not get angry once (probably a little impatient). God was as concerned about Nenevah as He was about teaching Jonah a lesson. Well, I shouldn't be so quick to judge Jonah, I am guilty of that sometimes: missing the big picture... Jonah didn't get it, and I don't a lot of times. I still get into certain situations trying to plan everything, including the outcome.

-"Hmm... I think I'll only do this, or that... nothing else!"

How about doing what God wants? How about doing what God wants and wait expectingly (not too impatiently) to see what happens next? How about doing what God wants without a set agenda? How about praying for the sake of praying... not asking for something, not complaining, not expecting anything... just praying for the sake of praying? I find that some of my most intimate moments with God happen in these circumstances... simply no agenda.

I am sorry Father, if like Jonah, I hide from you sometimes. I am sorry if I am hard of hearing, or (worse) if I have a case of selective hearing. I should know by now that You can see right through the excuses, and justifications. I never want to be inside a whale again, I never want to run away from you.

The story stops before hearing Jonah saying something like:

-"Oooooh! I get it now! Or at least, I think I do..."

Probably on purpose...

EED

This year's resolutions...

December 2008 is fast approaching... time to do a self evaluation of this year's resolutions. I didn't write any goals down, but there were a few things I felt really needed to change this year. These were the top ones:

1- Go to church EVERY Sunday.

Check- I switched to Saturday nights (Saturday night rocks!) and I serve on Sunday mornings. I wasn't planning in being involved with anything at all... being at church was good enough... at least for a while. I have had to miss a few services when I was out of town, but that's about it. I am thinking about slacking off next year :)

2- Heal my broken heart

Check (almost)- Tough one. I started the year pretty well, but it went downhill fairly quickly. I was waiting for someone to set me free, instead of turning to my Heavenly Father. The good news is that God was with me EVERY step of the way. I really don't know what could have happened if He hadn't reached out to me. He picked me up, comforted me, gave me hope and sent some wonderful people in my life. Forever grateful!

3- Exercise 5 days a week

Really dropped the ball on that one. I was doing fairly good until July- August... I have a few decent excuses, but that's all they are... excuses. I am getting back to the gym next week...maybe...

4- Hang on to Ps 138:8

Check- DR cited this verse earlier this year, and I have held on to it ever since. I remember walking out of that service feeling like I could take on the world, as long as I had God by my side. One thing I wasn't able to do from this outline was developing a 5-year plan. I can't even establish a 1-year plan yet. Should I panic and get to it? Probably... I really feel that this year was more about waiting (not the same as inaction) and listening (active listening).

Of course some of the most amazing things that happened to me this year were completely unplanned! God is good!

Next year will be even better!

EED

How are YOU doing?

- "I am fine, you?"

- "Fine, thanks!"

Superficial words exchanged to mask emotions. Of course I use these words, of course we all have to use these words, of course we all have good excuses: privacy, pride, denial, not wanting to burden others with our problems... There are a lot of good reasons. My excuse (at least one of them) might sound a little selfish, but I am not very good with small talk. I am actually terrible when it comes to small talk, I never know what to talk about...my brain turns to (chocolate!) jello pudding. I really enjoy listening to people's stories once we get past this painful phase. The funny thing is that, when the tables are turned and someone asks me how I am doing (really doing!) my answer is almost always the same:

- "ME???"

I am so glad I have people in my life who can see right through the politeness, awkwardness, jokes and smiles. All my friend RF has to do is look into my eyes, and ask "How are you doing?" for me to fess up... and not feel awkward about it. Vulnerable, yes; but never awkward...




EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Heroes- Part 6

I wrote the following entry a few months ago, after my first time at my church's food pantry:

My first day at the food pantry: a very humbling experience

I decided last Thursday morning to wake up early, make coffee, shower, get dressed and go to the food pantry to help. I was not sure of what to expect or what to do once I got there. I only kinda knew one person there, SB, who directed me to the food bagging area to help out.

There was a group of people from a missionary school, and we started talking about where I was from, and what brought me there. It was refreshing to talk to people who actually KNEW where Senegal was on the map We shared stories of hope, faith and so much more. DR and SS arrived shortly after we finished bagging the groceries.

Around 10am, it was time to open the doors to distribute breakfast to the local community. Most people were already in place, and ready to help and here I was, in the middle of all this, not sure of what to do. I started simply greeting everyone coming in, just a simple "Hello, How are you today?". It did not feel like much, but it was a good start. I asked T what else I could do, and he said that we could simply talk to a few people, which is what we did. I spoke with D, who was a little apprehensive about being "bothered", but she started lightening up once we talked about her son, and other things she had on her mind. It was REALLY humbling.

Once the front started clearing, I went to the kitchen to clean and dry dishes while SS was (and I quote him) "entertaining us". If you ask me, he was just letting us do all the work-lol. I spent the rest of the morning talking to more people, sharing experiences, and learning about myself simply by listening. One woman had a really sad story, and was struggling to pay her rent, but she was so beautiful and grateful to have breakfast with us. I almost cried... once again very humbling.

I just wanted to share that special day, and I really hope I will get the chance to do it again. We get so consumed with the daily grind, that we sometimes forget that little things can make a difference in people's lives.

I understood what we were doing at the intellectual level, and I knew that something amazing was happening at the corner of Main St and Helena, but I didn't really hit me until a few months later. I was talking with HH, one of the pastors there, and a man approached us saying that someone had been sick in the bathroom and it needed to be cleaned. I remember thinking (or maybe saying out loud) "Ewwww". HH just said "Alright, I'll take care of it!" He found a mop, went back to the bathroom and cleaned it, while I (wo)-manned the door. Seeing him clean the bathroom without grumbling, or complaining was VERY humbling!

This post is not simply about serving at the food pantry... I have tons of eye-opening stories like this one!

Do I have a heart for the poor? I think I do.

Do I have God's heart for the poor? I don't think so, but I want to. I think my heart would burst into a million pieces if I did. He loves us all SO much! I don't think I'll ever completely "get it", but I am having fun learning!

EED

Everything matters!

I love it when God uses seemingly small things and events to show me that He watches, and He cares. Another cool example yesterday:

Every Sunday morning, I volunteer with the little ones, and one of my responsibilities is to perform an introductory sketch for the weekly Bible story. I sometimes have to wear outfits and act a little silly, depending on the topic discussed. Talk about being outside my comfort zone...

Last week, I dressed as a birdwatcher (how ironic!), which included a safari-type outfit, complete with binoculars, hat and vest (we've been talking about the creation, and we were focusing on how God created the birds...). Anyway, I came in yesterday (non dress up needed), and one of the little girls kept smiling and looking at me... she finally left her small group, ran up to me and said:

- "Aren't you going hunting today?"

EED

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Heroes- Part 5

It took me a little longer to reflect on this reflection... a lot of pondering, praying and wrestling.

So, the question was: what are you wrestling with God over right now?

The answer was briefly mentioned in the podcast: wrestling over figuring out the path I will follow for the rest of my life. I think a lot of people wrestle with the same issue, waiting to hear what to do next. People at different stages in their lives feel that there is some kind of unfinished business to deal with. I am not necessarily unhappy with the decisions and choices I have made in my life, because I think they've helped shape the person I am today. I kinda like the person I am today... still need improvements though.

Struggling with the desires of my heart. I was talking about the meaning of receiving the desires of my heart with someone, and she made a very good point. She believes that God does answer our prayers and give us the desires of our hearts, but she added that we are not the ones who place these desires in us... God does! Just to be clear, I am not talking about meeting Anderson Cooper (although...) I sometimes wonder how Jacob's story would have ended if he got tired and decided to stop wrestling. I believe that God gives us second, third, fourth, n-th chances to redeem ourselves; but it's always easier when we answer the first time.

Still wrestling to obtain and understand my next set of instructions. In the meantime, I am going to keep walking, trusting, learning, asking... Just not ready to let it go.

To be continued..

EED

Overwhelming

I kept hearing that word tonight... overwhelming.

Overwhelming love, overwhelming care, overwhelming grace...

Fill with me your overwhelming peace and presence, Father.

Elom reflects on Scott's reflections: Heroes- Part 4

A lot of talk about change these days...

Regardless of where they are spiritually, almost anyone I talk to about their salvation experience says the same thing: "I have changed." I know I have. I can't really explain the difference between the old and new me. I was raised a Christian, and except in my young teen years, I didn't really embrace a Christ centered life. One of the concerns/questions that came up when I tried to explain what happened to me to my family was:

-"I don't understand what you are talking about... You've always been a nice person..."

As nice as this comment sounds, I know that something deeper happened when I decided to start my walk. "Being a nice person" simply wasn't good enough... I needed more. I am still working on explaining what is happening to me. In a way, it is a easier to "live out" what is happening, than to describe it.

It's also a little easier for me to understand why so many of us can relate to Peter's transformation after his encounter with Christ. He was an ordinary man, a fisherman, a sinner, a regular Joe-six pack (I had to make an election related comment...) who became a pillar of the early church. He had no any idea that his life would change so dramatically when he met Jesus, he just knew that something was happening. Maybe he decided to follow Christ because he was grateful, or tired of being a fisherman... Either way, it sounds like a switch was turned on in his heart, and he just knew that he needed to leave everything behind. Sounds familiar.

More on change as the new year approaches...

EED